Confessions of a Fitness Girl

It's no secret that I love to work out and that HIIT is possibly my favourite way of working up a sweat. This year in particular I have really thrown myself into the fitness world (don't forget my lean & mean goal) , and whilst I am loving it, it has helped me in more ways than I expected. 

Exercise and sports have always played a role in my life. When I was younger, I was a tall, long-legged child riding horses, taking part in ballet and Riverdance (I'm not Irish and have no idea how I started that!). Sadly, the coordination that comes with ballet, tap dancing and Riverdance is something that never crossed over into my teenage and adult years and I now have two-left feet! Bouncing on a mini trampoline, whilst dancing to wickedly-cool music, during a Rebounce class was possibly one of the most fun exercise classes I've been to this year but it also made me much more aware of my terrible lack of coordination (which I find pretty hilarious).

That's something I am striving to improve. It frustrates me how my brain interprets instructions: "Right leg forward." But my left leg lunges forward. "Power lunge forward". My leg power lunges backwards. It's not that I can't distinguish between my right leg and left leg. It is that my body automatically does the opposite of what I'm supposed to do! 

I can be impatient and dislike stillness, which is why I have often avoided yoga. To help me improve my terrible coordination, I have jumped on the yoga-pilates bandwagon and started yoga. It is one of the hardest things I am doing this year. Not just because of the challenge in becoming more bendy, but rather because of the stillness and calmness that it requires. By doing yoga, I am finding that I have to really think before I complete an action. Being told to move your right arm and right leg forward might sound like the easiest action, but my incapability of translating an instruction into an action means I have to think about it first. 

Most fitness-girls post a lot of gym-selfies on their social media. I want to do that. But I have - no, had- issues with my body. There. It might be hard to fathom that someone passionate about exercise, healthy living and eating has a body issue but I did until recently. I check myself in the mirror several times a day and am constantly thinking about my body fat percentage, especially when I'm eating. For so long now I was buying clothes in sizes far-too big to hide under. Then, two months ago, I stripped down to my underwear for a progress photo and realised then how much progress I have made. I'm slowly learning to re-love my body. If you were to ask me which body part do I love the most, it would be my d├ęcolletage followed by my biceps and abs. By focusing love to certain parts of my body, it means that I am slowly stopping all that hate. It is hard though. The number of times where I have stood in the mirror in my underwear feeling amazed at my progress, followed by consecutive days of "I've gained fat" is uncountable. I can't take a gym-selfie yet without heavily criticising my body in that photo. The day I begin to post gym-selfies, in a crop top, on social media will be the day I have well and truly regained control of my body confidence. 

Mara xxx

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